17 July 2006

everlastingly wedded

please don't hurt me, i'm just a meek little monchhichi.

anger and projection. definitely not a hollywood marriage. inseparable. indivisible. superglued forever. they go hand in hand, almost everytime.

last week, i've encountered a lot of people and situations wherein anger is rooted.

please excuse the plural pronouns "they" and "their"!

there's a friend who was deriding me. i was like this shiny new round wire nail straight off the shelf from home depot, but due to an emergency refurbishing job, i was (very unfortunately) used. it was adding insult to injury when they drove me down farther than i should go. i know the person well. their self-hate was projected towards me.

this one person has been down all week. everyday, anger spewed at whoever was nearest them or whoever was being talked about at the moment. enough said.

another friend decided to tell me about a particular mutual friend and their anger concerning that person. i was very straightforward and honest in my response, clearly illustrating a similar situation wherein things got worse because of pent up feelings and snowballing misunderstandings, at the same time offering help since the three of us are friends. i was met with cold indifference. i know that that person has plenty of anger at life, and i suspect that once again, they're unjustly projecting it on one person.

of course, i can't leave myself out. i have had longstanding and ongoing anger at promiscuity and promiscuous inviduals. people who seem like they haven't learned their lesson. people who need to have large, dark words written on fifteen feet of butcher paper about what has happened in the past. people who need another STD to remind them about the previous one. people who are asking for an STD because they've never had one before. yes, me and the P word just don't mesh.

also, i'm angry at the realization that for the next two years, i will be pagekill.

pagekill [pāj kĭl]

1. insects and other minute fauna that are trapped and instantaneously die between the pages of a book, magazine, or any other reading material.

2. someone who is (sometimes forcibly) immersed in textbooks about pharmacology, gerontics, and other related subjects for the pursuit of a passing grade, making it to the fourth semester, being present at the pinning ceremony, and the ultimate, getting that paycheck.

consequently, i will have to say goodbye to a decent social life. good luck to me.

the smart and humane thing to do is never to project anger towards anyone else. channel that anger to do something positive. make a patchwork quilt. clean your neighborhood's gutters. feed the homeless in skid row. or in my case, trying to stay as light (skin color-wise) as possible during this summer.

Posted by ilovesecondhandsmoke @ 5:20 PM